Sunday, 12 July 2009

The Least of Expectations?

It's been an excruciating boring Sunday I might add. But I had long hours spent alone to sit, think and picture everything on the past and present and future. Not the most joyable thing to do but I guess sometimes when we actually do solemn to ourselves at a point in our life, it is rather amazing to see how things evolves.

I've been torturing myself, mentally. For this past months, I've gone through so many unexpected events. Not knowing how the future might be. I struggled to a point of breakdown and losing insanity. Falling sick every week, and even starve myself because I had lost every inch of appetite. It's crazy to be in this alone and come to think of it, I wasn't struggling alone, I was indirectly and uncautiously making those who were by my side to struggle along with me.

Did I change in a way or other? Or have I just gone bad to worse?

I quit clubbing. Quit drinking. And I'm trying to quit smoking as well. Quit modeling. Quit photoshoots. Quit freelance jobs. I practically quit what I did in my past.

I even threw my skimpy clothings during my modeling days. I'm learning to dress more decent. Less makeup.

Am I trying to be a better person? Portray a better image? I want to be better. That's for sure. But I'm beginning to realize, I'm getting quieter by the day.

But all I want is to be happy.

And I know, happiness come when we least expect it to happen.

And thanks to YOU, I know where I am. And know that I'm building every inch of bricks back.

30 comments:

.:Baby Gin:. said...

princess, one day when ure bored call me out k

damn long din see u wei.

we look for kum and gang =D they'll surely put a smile on ure face

Anonymous said...

those things u mentioned , were the old jen ai i used to know..... da joyful, happy, cute, and lovely old jen ai ~

wEtwEtwAtEr said...

You can do it girl! =)
God is your strength, rely on Him, He is GOOD!

JunJin said...

That's what we call life.

You still have a very long journey to go. Never give up hope, believe in yourself, believe in what's the right thing for you and choose the right path. it's not too late yet and it's not the time matter...most important is, never do things that'll make your parents, friends, or everyone worry about you.

you still have a choice, and i believe you can overcome it.

and i recommend you to read this as it may help you.

http://www.pennyparker2.com/encouragement.html

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online buy diazepam tablets online - diazepam dosage for dogs anxiety

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online ativan controlled substance - ativan and alcohol liver

Anonymous said...

xanax online high on xanax bars - where to buy real xanax online

Anonymous said...

order valium what's normal dosage valium - valium no prescription u.s

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam diazepam valium picture - illegal buy diazepam online usa

Anonymous said...

buy zolpidem online zolpidem tart er side effects - zolpidem 10mg get high

Anonymous said...

xanax online no prescription overdose on xanax and alcohol - safest way to order xanax online

Anonymous said...

online diazepam diazepam online no prescription mastercard - diazepam side effects in humans

Anonymous said...

diazepam 5mg buy diazepam online+mastercard - buy mano-diazepam

Anonymous said...

buy zolpidem online zolpidem tartrate what does it look like - zolpidem online no prescription canada

Anonymous said...

buy ativan ativan withdrawal diarrhea - 1mg lorazepam vs. 1mg xanax

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online overnight delivery can pass drug test xanax - xanax withdrawal in pregnancy

Anonymous said...

can i buy xanax online xanax zoloft side effects - buy xanax online mexico

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online cheap diazepam online - buy diazepam online+paypal

Anonymous said...

buy xanax has bought xanax online - klonopin help xanax withdrawal

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien side effects heart rate - ambien side effects throwing up

Anonymous said...

valium for sale no prescription buy valium with paypal - valium for purchase

Anonymous said...

soma for sale buy soma online us pharmacy - carisoprodol tab 350mg

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien stopped working insomnia - ambien and alcohol side effects

Anonymous said...

generic zolpidem ambien sleep architecture - how much sleep ambien

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online dosage for ambien cr 12.5mg - ambien side effects anxiety

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma on urine drug screen - buy soma online us

Anonymous said...

buy valium online valium knights lyrics - buy valium london

Anonymous said...

generic valium online valium vicodin - buy valium australia online

Anonymous said...

Friends, order prozac - prozac online no prescription http://www.prozaccheaponline.net/#prozac-online-no-prescription , [url=http://www.prozaccheaponline.net/#fluoxetine-online ]fluoxetine online [/url]

Anonymous said...

g, Chemistry Assignments - http://www.onlinewritinghelp101.com/chemistry.html#chemistry-online, [url=http://www.onlinewritinghelp101.com/chemistry.html#chemistry-online]Chemistry Project[/url]